Let’s face it. The Internet is abound with dating tips, pick up lines, and various styles and tricks to close the deal, but the reality is that most of it is bogus. There is NEVER a sure fire way to get a girl. Once you understand that concept, getting a date becomes much easier.
I once spent a month trying my best moves to smoothly land a hottie in my law class, and after several attempts she finally asked me to lunch. I was secretly in heaven until she casually mentioned, “It would never work between us. I’m a lesbian. But we can still hang out.”
This is not an excuse as to why I couldn’t land her (I’ve been turned down by my fair share of straight girls), it just exemplifies that not all girls are going to like you, even if you look like Brad Pitt. The point is don’t assume that your approach is bad just because you get shot down. I’ll say it again: There is NEVER a sure fire way to get a girl, so don’t get discouraged if you get denied.
I’m going to tell you a method that will increase your chances of hooking up with the girl of your dreams.
Don’t get in your own way.
This seems pretty straight forward, but you need to know exactly what I’m talking about. Often times a girl will see you at a bar or club and think, “He’s an option.” After about 20 minutes with her, she’s blowing you off and you’re left alone without her number. You probably said or did something to make her guard go back up, and at this point it doesn’t matter what it was, she’s gone forever.
I’ve mastered a genius approach (in my opinion) that has yielded amazing results. As a bonus, it saves your ego and puts her at ease no matter the final outcome. Plus, this approach works EVERYWHERE. Not just at bars or clubs; it works at grocery stores, laundry mats, the zoo, anywhere you see the girl you want. Some modification may be required for certain settings and times.
Rule #1 for this approach to work:
No flirting. Be honest and direct. Walk up to the girl you have your eye on and say something like, “I noticed you across the room, and I would hate myself in the morning if I didn’t at least say hi.”
You will probably get a “hi” back, and you move forward with rule #2:
Don’t get in your own way. The longer you hang out with her, the more likely she will be to put up her guard and shut you down. Sometimes there is no discernible reason; it just happens. Instead, you now end the conversation as quickly as it began with, “Unfortunately I have an early morning meeting at work so I have to go prepare for it and get a good night’s sleep. I would be honored if you can work up the courage to call me for a first date.” Hand her your name and number (have it ready, don’t ask for a pen or anything stupid like that), finish with, “It was a real pleasure to meet you, I hope I see you again,” shake her hand (firmly), then leave.
This approach may seem counter-intuitive to meeting or hooking up with a girl in the same night, and if that is your goal, don’t use this approach. However, I guarantee that you will see amazing success when this technique is implemented properly, and isn’t a date this week better than no date at all? Who knows, perhaps you will meet your soulmate this way, and what a story that will make for the kids.
Here is why this approach works:
By being direct, you have established you are confident enough to approach her and brave enough to initiate conversation. Women like brave, direct men. By giving her YOUR number, you have put the ball in her court, and she doesn’t feel obligated in any way to give you her number or even call you. This gives her a feeling of safety, and she will be impressed because you aren’t arrogant enough to think that asking for her number will get it. Women walk a fine line between liking confidence and getting irritated with arrogance. Don’t be the arrogant punch line she laughs about with her friends.
Walking away after giving her your number establishes two things. The first is mystery. She will be intrigued that you aren’t fawning over her, and impressed that you aren’t arrogant enough to think that she would go home with you. Second, you’ve established that you actually have obligations and a job, and women love men who are responsible and ambitious. Some modifications may be needed depending on the setting. If you meet a girl in a grocery store at noon, it would seem weird if you were running home to get a good night sleep for a meeting. “I have to get back to work” or “My boss needs a presentation by 2:00” are much better excuses.
Just remember, all “standard” pick-up rules apply. Most women have a pretty good taste in fashion so make sure you are presentable. Be clean and well groomed (unless you are at the beach), and don’t make the mistake of blabbering away. Get in, get out. You have room for some very small talk, but ONLY if she initiates it.
Now… you wait. Don’t be crushed if she never calls because there are many reasons she won’t. Having a boyfriend or husband is the biggest reason. You didn’t ask if she had a boyfriend; so when she doesn’t call you, assume that is the case (if she does have a boyfriend, she will still feel flattered and you’ve really made her day. If things don’t work out with him, she might save your number). Perhaps you weren’t her type, or her friends didn’t like your hair, or she lost your number. You’ve already saved face by walking away, and that will keep her thinking about you at the very least.
If she does call, don’t talk on the phone too much. Make the date at her convenience (She called, so no need to play hard to get), and show up ready to impress.
Congratulations on getting the date.
Ryan Barlow is an American author and college professor. His undergraduate education was in sexual psychology, and he currently teaches veterinary medicine at Boston Reed University. He is pursuing his PhD in anthropology; with an emphasis in tribal sexuality.
For the more open minded, his rated R comedy feed can be found here.