Ask Her, Vol 2. Attracting the Crazies

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Ever have one of those feelings?


Today’s question comes from twitter.  Being a common occurrence, I felt it should be addressed:


I’m only attracted to crazy women. What’s wrong with me?

-Aaron J. Marko @DinkCheney


Aaron, men love to be heroes, and I’m sure you are no exception.  You probably also love to “fix” things. It makes you feel needed, important, and feeds into your ego. Who makes a better damsel in distress than a poor, defenseless lunachic?  What you need to remember is women are not like a houses, and fixer-uppers are rarely wise investments. If you need to fix something, there are plenty of us normal single girls out there who need some light bulbs changed, plus we love to watch you screw and hammer stuff.  It takes us to a place where you are screwing and hammering us… yum. The problem you probably realize, is that if she’s crazy during the day, chances are she’s crazy in bed. Let’s face it. There is nothing hotter than spanking the tight little ass of the chick that is driving you nuts and watching her squirm in pleasure. I love a good swat on the rump too, but just realize that you won’t fix her, so it may be time to move on.

Aaron, you asked what was wrong with you. If you really think something is wrong with you, perhaps something is.  It is possible you have mommy issues. If you had a dysfunctional mother (or primary family member) growing up, you may not actually be aware that your woman’s behavior is NOT normal at first. There’s no shame in going to therapy and working that stuff out.  Remember, women like men that are strong enough to seek help if needed. When my guy asks for directions, I get so hot I usually blow him as we drive away.

Another factor might be your situation in life. Are you having money troubles? Do you suffer from anxiety or depression? Having a GF with problems much worse than your own is a wonderful distraction, but please understand that she will only make your problems worse.

An often under-looked and very common reason men love the crazies is addiction.  Every time you fight, or drama flares up, your body does a great job dumping all sorts of emotional chemicals into your bloodstream.  The more you fight, the more your body gets used to the feelings, and like coffee, nicotine, or heroin, it begins to need more.  You might THINK you are unhappy, but your body is secretly telling you otherwise, and you will attract people that give your body the rush it needs.  If you feel this is the case, eat more chocolate, wean yourself off the lunachic, and try new emotions to replace the crazy.

My last thought is perhaps you just aren’t ready for a real intimate and committed relationship.  We ALL pick the wrong kind of person when we’re not ready. As soon as you envision a lifetime of dating Whitney Houston, chances are you will find Miss Right soon.




Bailey Ryan is our resident relationship expert and senior editor. She is a syndicated columnist and the author of “Ask Her”, and has been a guest on several radio and TV broadcasts, and has been recently been cast on a TV show and in a movie. She specializes in sexual behavior, relationship advice, and off-road jeep tech. Feel free to send any questions your heart desires to the magazine or Bailey directly, either on twitter: @chirebailey or email: