My ex-girlfriend always squirted when she had an orgasm, and my current GF wants to learn how. If a girl has never squirted, can she learn how to do it?
-Jason M; Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Thanks for that question Jason! This is a highly controversial topic, and many scientific studies have had various results. The short answer is maybe. All women have some version of female ejaculate, and the lucky few can actually squirt copious amounts. In fact, it was once thought that female ejaculation was required to have a baby.
Females produce their ejaculate from their Skene’s glands, which is located just inside the urethra. During arousal these glands fill up with a similar ejaculate fluid found in guys, sans the sperm. All women produce fluid at least in small amounts varying from a few drops to a few teaspoons. It is clear, milky, and odorless with a watery consistency. Female ejaculate is not urine.
How to train her body to squirt
Before you begin, make sure she empties her bladder so she is less afraid of the result. It has been reported that the sensation can have a similar feeling to urination, so it’s best to have her go pee to avoid a true mess. Most squirters also report that having their G-spot rubbed does the trick vs. clitoral stimulation. The G-spot is an area on the front wall of the vagina, about two inches in, which is often found to be extremely sensitive to stimulation. When you stick your fingers inside her, make a “come here” motion and you should be hitting it perfectly. Be advised that the G-spot response varies from woman to woman. She may or may not love it, so work around her personal sensations.
Warm her up
Don’t just dive in. Kiss her, fondle her, and get her ready for a solid body shaking orgasm. Think of her body like you would a Barbecue: you have to heat it up before you stick the meat in. Take your time… 15-20 minutes at the very least should do it. THEN go in for the orgasm. Follow her instructions as to what feels best and when she is getting close, DON’T increase intensity or movement… continue with what you are doing. When she is ready to cum, have her bear down like she is going to pee. Those same muscles seem to have an effect on the orgasm. Since she emptied her bladder earlier, tell her not to worry and just push. Keep massaging her g-spot during this time. If her Skene’s glands are large enough, she should be able to at least moderately squirt. Give it a few tries before giving up… she may just need more time.
Keep in mind that some women can’t squirt at all, or there will be no noticeable difference in ejaculate. If this is the case, then don’t fret. You still got your woman off and she will be happy with you for that.
Sometimes the best way to have a woman learn how to ejaculate is to have her use a vibrator solo. A woman can’t comfortably reach her G-spot with her own hands, so using a vibrator specially designed for G-spot stimulation is ideal. She will be able to control the tempo and pace, and push on her own without embarrassment. If she can squirt using this technique, she can squirt with you. Just remember, pushing down with her muscles seems to be the key.
Good luck Jason, and have a fun time experimenting!
Bailey Ryan is our resident relationship expert and senior editor. She is a syndicated columnist and the author of “Ask Her”, and has been a guest on several radio and TV broadcasts. She specializes in sexual behavior, relationship advice, and off-road jeep tech. Feel free to send any questions your heart desires to the magazine or Bailey directly, either on twitter: @chirebailey or email: BaileyRyan@mensconfidence.com.