Artists are an interesting bunch. Making something out of nothing takes some real talent, and kudos to those who stick with it and thrive. Then there is a special breed of artist that will take a statue of the Virgin Mary, pee on it, and call it art. If that’s the case then my dog makes “art” every day. These statues fall somewhere between that spectrum, but each and every one of them is a What the Hell Were They Thinking moment.
#1. Attack of the Killer Babies.
Even if you know the back story of this statue, it doesn’t make it any less weird. It appears this guy definitely hates babies. No… they aren’t “really” babies according to the artist, but try telling that to your horrified kids when you walk by. The babies actually represent evil geniis attacking a naked man. Told you it was just as weird.
#2. Butt Plug Santa
Nothing “spreads” Christmas cheer like a fat butt-plug (see what I did there?). In all seriousness, whoever green-lighted this statue is either really naive or really enjoys a good laugh. This Santa would feel right at home on the cover of The Little Mermaid.
#3. Skull Rape
Nothing says art like being raped by a giant skull. When I see this statue, I think about Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket… you know the part where the drill instructor is yelling “I’M GONNA GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES AND SKULL FUCK YOU!” This artist really took that to heart. Bonus points for flat dangly balls:
#4. Eating Children for Fiber
The look on their horrified faces as they realize they are about to be eaten is precious; at least that is what the artist was thinking. And this one has no explainable back-story. This is actually called “Child Eater” and his midnight snack really is a bag full of babies. Murder never tasted so good.
#5 Vagina University
Scratch this entry. If I could make a giant vagina statue and put it anywhere I wanted… I would. I bet this would be a great date for Butt Plug Santa.
#6. Shit on a Stake
Nothing screams town spirit like a giant turd on a stick. Apparently it actually represents the seed pod of a pine tree. Yeah right. As an artist, this ranks up there with pooping on a canvas and calling it art, except now it’s “lets put a giant turd on a stick and call it a tree.”
#7. Lactating Hotness
Here is another one that I think is totally acceptable. Women squeezing milk from their breasts SHOULD be a public display. Just sayin’.