Ask Her: Spice Up Your Sex Life

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hotsexDear Bailey,

My husband and I have fallen into that sexual rut that I’ve often heard about.  I still love him very much, and we still have sex once or twice per week, but its getting really boring.  Do you have any simple ideas that will spice up our marriage?

Gloria S, -Chino, CA

Thanks for the question Gloria!  Simple seems to be the keyword in your letter. Yours is a special case in which you are still in love and still having sex.  You couldn’t be in a better position to make things amazing.  I’ve decided to turn this installment of Ask Her into a sexy list of things to spice up your relationship.

#1. Start foreplay when you wake up.

This is incredibly sexy.  Start in the morning by whispering dirty things that you want to do to your partner when they get home from work, then send sexy text messages all day.  Don’t be afraid to get creative and naughty.  The more you draw it out, the hotter the sex will be later.

#2. Watch porn then act out the scene.

Watching other people have sex triggers lusty thoughts and will spice up your sex life, especially if you act it out together. A study conducted by the University of Denver found that couples who watch sexy movies together are more sexually satisfied and happier with their relationship than those who watch them alone.  You don’t have any porn you say?  Visit Redtube or Extremetube for free streaming scenes and movies.

#3. Buy a sex toy together, and then use it.

I’m not just talking about busting out a vibrator to make you orgasm.  Go shopping together at a sex store and buy something together.  Take it home and experiment on each other, describing the sensations you like, and how your partner can make it better.  Be open and honest about what feels good and what doesn’t.  Enjoy.

#4. Have sex on a rooftop or under the stars.

This one really gets your heart pumping.  You are out in the open with the stars above you, fully naked to the world. New places to have sex increase excitement and novelty. A must do for any couple. Even switching it up from the bedroom to the living room can have a positive impact.

#5. Go skinny dipping!

You can go with your partner, or you can invite a few friends.  You’d be surprised at just how sexy it is when more people are around.  You will feel liberated, and this will definitely spice up your sex life.

#6. Add a blindfold to the mix.

If you do nothing else different except add a blindfold, the entire experience changes.  Give it a try.

#7. Play naughty truth or dare, with or without friends.

This one is actually more fun with friends, but for the timid, as a couple works well too.  You can also pick up the Kama Sutra board game for lovers.

#8. Take naughty pictures and leave them in his desk.

This one is more for the ladies, but some guys can pull it off too.  Have a friend or a professional studio take some R and X rated pictures, then leave them where your partner will find them. Don’t tell him you are having them done.  Let it be a naughty surprise.

#9. Role Play.

I have an extensive article here about this, but you don’t have to go into depth while roleplaying. A simple and sexy idea is to change names for a day and go test drive cars you could never afford.  This gets the naughty juices flowing, plus it makes for a great date!

#10. Have a threesome.

Clearly this one is not for everybody, but successfully bringing in a 3rd party without any drama is exceptionally liberating and sexy.  Just make sure you are both OK with the idea, and as always, communication is essential. I have a detailed article here:  Hot 3 Way Sex.

I also recommend masturbating daily for both men and women.  It’s healthy and fun.  I do it every day and often text my man about the technique I used… that drives him crazy and I always get hot sex later that night.  Have fun!




Bailey Ryan is our resident relationship expert and senior editor. She is a syndicated columnist and the author of “Ask Her”, and has been a guest on several radio and TV broadcasts, and has been recently been cast on a TV show and in a movie. She specializes in sexual behavior, relationship advice, and off-road jeep tech. Feel free to send any questions your heart desires to the magazine or Bailey directly, either on twitter: @chirebailey or email: