#1: Don’t cancel more than once, and don’t be late.
If you can’t help but be late, send a text message or call with as much notice as possible. And if you must cancel — like, say, if you came down with the clap, or Elvis comes back from the dead for a one-night only concert to which you have a ticket — reschedule immediately.
#2: Don’t itemize the bill.
If you’re set on being a modern man who prefers to go dutch, so be it. I’m not judging you, but hey… whatever. Don’t be a dick though. Divide it straight down the middle, even if she ordered the lobster. Those who itemize based on who ate what should be deeply ashamed.
#3: Don’t expect sex in exchange for paying the bill.
If you’re more traditional and opt to pay the full bill (which we recommend), do not expect your generosity to buy you sexual favors. Seriously. Besides, sex feels so much better when it’s given with natural enthusiasm, not because $50 was forked over for a mediocre piece of fish and some fruity cocktails.
#4: Don’t get wasted.
Drinks can be imbibed on a date, but watch the intake and avoid shots. Being the drunk guy on a date usually means the girls make fun of you behind your back. Don’t do it.
#5: Don’t talk about your ex-girlfriend.
It doesn’t matter why. Whether you call her a psycho stalker or an amazing goddess — it’s weird. It’s one thing, if it comes up, to talk about when you last were in a serious relationship or how many years/months the longest one lasted. If that happens, leave it at that, and try to drop the subject quickly. Don’t share the saga of your love story, starting with when you first laid eyes on her and ending with the day she went completely mental and tried to steal your Jeep at the public swimming pool because she thought you cheated. Move on already.
#6: Be Honest
This has lots of interpretations but the most important thing here is to not misrepresent yourself. Mystery is nice. Hold back, don’t blab everything about yourself on the first date. In fact, let her do most of the talking while letting her discover you a little at a time, but always be yourself and tell the truth. This will insure you don’t have to remember what you lied about later. Honesty is the best policy. You might be surprised at how rare this trait is, and she will love you for it.
#7: Don’t be rude to service people.
Angrily sending your plate back to the kitchen because your steak is rose quartz pink instead of Thulian pink makes you look like a pretentious douche-nozzle. Giving a cab driver a crappy tip because traffic made you late make your girls want to go home with him instead. Ladies would much rather date someone who is chill and relaxed when things don’t work out completely to their specifications rather than a man child who throws tantrums.
#8: Don’t discuss money.
Couples talk about money. You’re not a couple yet. It doesn’t matter if you are broke or just got a fat raise. Inheritance? Rich Family? Keep it to yourself.
#9: Don’t be dismissive of her opinions.
One of the best perks about dating is getting to learn another person’s perspective, whether that is on the world, on politics, on pop culture, whatever. Make the most of that. Listen! Nodding your head and holding back an eye roll while she explains her beliefs on universal health care, only to seize the spotlight the minute she pauses in order to say, “Yeah, well, maybe you should just move to France,” is not listening. It’s douchebaggery.
#10: Gonna Score? Wear a condom.
But.. but… condoms make it so you can’t feel anything. You don’t have any diseases, you swear. You have a Ph.D. in the pullout method, huh? You’ve never gotten a chick pregnant! Congrats. Strap it on bro.