A weekly series, highlighting some of our favorite ≤140′s from MensConfidence writers and others. If you don’t follow them, bury your head in shame. Then follow them.
I'm sorry. I love you. AND I'm sorry I love you. So there is that.
— Puddin Mc7 (@PuddingBoobs) July 11, 2013
"My twitter was hacked." – Cowards, the mentally unstable and shitiots who use crap like 'love123' as their fucking password.
— Juddy (@iAmJuddy) July 12, 2013
I can delete a tweet in one second. But the pain of it being a flop lingers for days.
— andy lassner (@andylassner) July 12, 2013
Never assume someone will go away quietly. Always duct tape their mouth before you dump them in the ditch.
— ~Sheila~ (@1Happytwit) July 12, 2013
Assholes who tweet like this are annoying
— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) July 8, 2013
What idiot called them styrofoam packing peanuts instead of marshmailows?
— patrick (@tastefactory) July 13, 2013
"Accio Whiskey!" "Whiskey leviosa!" *taps wand against bar "ACCIO WHISKEY!" "Ma'am, please take the dildo & leave. You've been cut off."
— Athena Mystique (@AthenaMystique) July 13, 2013
Look, everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is you learn from it & cover it up better next time.
— Aristotles (@AristotlesNZ) July 11, 2013
Some days I just want to be alone to think about how lonely I am
— Sara (@SomthinBoutSara) July 12, 2013
I'm sorry your life sucks. Take this virtual trophy and feel better.
— christine (@thesupergrobi) July 7, 2013
I am very good at flirting with people I don’t fancy and being a complete idiot with people I do.
— Fluffy Suse (@fluffysuse) July 12, 2013
Alcoholics get drunk, I become one with the vodka. There's a difference.
— Shkeeber (@shkeeber) July 12, 2013
"Well, my work here is Don." -mafia boss with an awful sense of humor
— Danny Charnley (@DanKCharnley) July 12, 2013
Sometimes the big picture is the hardest one to see.
— Brian (@BDGarp) July 12, 2013
E.T. 2: E.T. Comes back to visit Elliot, buys Reese's Peices and George Zimmerman kills him.
— Denise (@StellaRtwot) July 12, 2013
I'll spank you, choke you, slap you, call you my little slut; but all to the smooth sounds of Barry White, so it's romantic.
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) July 12, 2013
my last customers name was snake and now i hate my parents for not trying a bit harder.
— Shael (@5hael) July 11, 2013
"How skinny are ankles supposed to be and what's the deal with DICKS! LOL AM I RIGHT!! find out tonight at 11, maybe." – if I were the news.
— Pony Starwars (@tigersgoroooar) July 11, 2013
Imagine if people fought for equality the same way they fight for their guns.
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) July 12, 2013
The best stories are narrated through the scars.
— Lee (@silent_musings) July 13, 2013
If you’re not already follow @MensConfidence on Twitter.
Check back next week for another TWIT by @DeanOkay